At 21, you're told you have the whole world ahead of you to figure out where you want to be. However, at this point in life, a lot of people are panicked and scrambling to find where they want to be. College graduation is around the corner for many and our find yourself searching and hoping for that "Big boy" or "Big girl" job so that you're not back at your parents' home with a college degree. Around this time next year, I'll find myself in that same state of mind. Well, I'm actually panicking and anxious about my next step in life. Where do I see myself after college?
Since I was little, I've had my big dreams of saving the world and being important in some field of my choosing. However, I feel as if I have begun to fade into the background. Of course when you feel somewhat "invisible", your insecurities run rampant. Do they like my hair? Why did I choose this outfit? Am I capable of handling this? Is this honestly my true fit in life? Like many others, myself included, I put my mask on and face my daily challenges. It has been said that stepping out of your comfort zone will lead you to success later on in life. Staying stagnant in the same spot because you feel safe will not place you where you want to be. As I continue to age, I find my friends, loved ones and acquaintances in amazing places following their dreams. Business consultants, actresses, musicians, Olympic runners, doctors, nurses, teachers, engineers, chemists... I mean the list is endless. You sometimes wonder if these same people feel the anxiety or nervousness to step out and begin their own journey and find their personal legend.
After transferring my Freshman year of college from Mercer University, I found myself fading into the background of Georgia Southern University. I would go to class, go to work, study, and sleep. The same repetitive motions. For years, I've been trapped inside the cocoon that is my anxiety. Is this the right step? Should I do this? What if I don't like it? What if no one likes me? It's a constant battle mentally to push yourself to become the greatness destined for your life. With Mercer basically forcing me to transfer schools in three weeks, I've found myself on a roller-coaster of epic proportions to find myself and begin my journey.
My Junior year of college sparked a fire of ambition and wanderlust within my heart that I had to fulfill. Fall 2014, I found myself working with an amazing team of students and faculty members to study the effects of Titanium Oxide nanoparticles in human lung and breast cancer models. My dream had begun to come to the forefront. I found myself on a new path of excitement and happiness through my research. Along with a time of happiness normally follows a period of grief and sadness. I found myself in a sea of failed relationships and friendships, a death in my family, and anxiety during a time where I needed to focus on my goals and dreams. My personality caused me to hoard all my emotions and feelings which translated to a deviation from my personal journey. I found myself off track from where I needed to be worrying about things I could not change.
How do you combat that? A saying I've heard numerous times is "What you eat doesn't make me shit," meaning people's actions and choices shouldn't define YOU. This is a lesson I am learning daily. It's easy for me to get wrapped up in things I shouldn't when I know that there is something greater for me. But alas, I am human. It happens. Regardless of how strong we come off as or how tough and emotionless we attempt to convince ourselves to be, we all have a weakness. You can only be superman for so long before your "kryptonite" comes along and knocks your feet from underneath you. Regardless of my downfalls and shortcomings, I've found that I have an amazing support team around me that sees my potential and in turn, I become that strength and courage for them. Distance and lack of time may cause us to disconnect, but at the end of the day, I can find comfort from them via a phone call, text, or even a shout out via social media.
Fast forward to Summer 2015, I find myself studying Arabic in the beautiful country of Morocco on the West coast of Africa. I do not know a THING about Arabic, but I am working my butt off to make the excellent education I'm receiving worthwhile. There were a few bumps and hiccups along the way to get here, but I find myself in a place of love, comfort, and wanderlust as I begin my journey of my personal legend. To know that I am receiving love and well wishes from thousands of miles away is so amazing. I couldn't ask for anything more than what I am receiving. The people I traveled with, as well as new friends I made here in Morocco, are making this journey that much more exciting.
I titled this blog "Traveling the Journey of My Personal Legend", because I was gifted with the book The Alchemist as I began my journey to Morocco. My sense of wanderlust was shipped to me all the way from Phoenix, Arizona and I couldn't be any more thankful. The Alchemist is a novel about a young sheppard attempting to find his treasure and meaning to life. Along the way, he meets people that give him life long lessons that hold true to this day. As I buried my face in the novel, his story rang true with my current personal life. Day by day, I'm learning to live life for me and not the dreams of others. Getting caught up in things I don't need to be surrounded by only hinders my desire and dreams of my soul and ambition. A close friend once told me, "you need to become more selfish and less selfless. People can see that and take advantage of it. It is your time to focus on you and get to where I know you can be." Now is the time where I can no longer worry about others and allow them to begin their own journey. I have to focus on me in order to achieve my goals and dreams. It is believed that your darkest hour comes before your dawn and I find myself at that point in my life. Paul Coelho, author of The Alchemist, defines the personal legend as," a force that appears to be negative, but actually shows you how to realize your personal legend. It prepares your spirit and your will, because there is one great truth on this planet: whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it's because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It's your mission on earth."
My soul is screaming that my personal legend is to get my Doctorate in Pharmacology at least 6 years from now. I want to study at McGill University (of course, maintaining my wanderlust) in Montreal, Canada. Yes, it's a huge move, but I feel that it's my calling, My journey begins here in Morocco and will continue when I return back to the United States and finish out my time in Statesboro and the rest of my life. I never thought that I would be here in Morocco studying, but it seemed that everything around me aligned in the proper way to ensure that this was possible. I highly recommend reading The Alchemist by Paul Coelho because it honestly changed my life just as I was told it would.
As I begin this crazy, global journey, I want to document as much as I can as well as inspire others to follow their dreams. Even if its only three people that read this blog, I can only hope that one person is inspired to change their lives and reach for the stars.
Please give feedback! I appreciate those that read these posts :) Keep you posted with my adventures and wanderlust....
T.
